Ultimatum#5 REVIEW…man is this one gonna be fun!

30 07 2009

CAUTION: THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

WARNING: BLOGGER MAY LOSE HIS TEMPER… YOU WON’T LIKE HIM WHEN HE’S ANGRY!!!

Writer: Jeph Loeb

Artist:David Finch

Inker: Danny Miki

Colorist:Peter Steigerwald

 

Finally the end of Ultimatum is here! I thought the first 4 issues were bad but wow was this final issue awful. So we start out with Wolverine fighting Magneto, who’s the cause of all the carnage and meaningless killings in this mini-series. Mags then forces Cyclops and Iron Man to blast Wolverine into pieces. Then Wolverine’s nearly destroyed body stabs Mags through the chest. Magneto apparently can withstand that and tears the adamantium off of Wolvie’s body(SPLASH-PAGE GALORE!!! and somehow Valkyrie turned invisible cause we don’t see her in the fight). Then we see Colossus and Hulk destroying the engines of Mags’ citadel when Mystique comes along and blasts them with flamethrowers which obviously would have no effect. Then Hulk says the magic words, “HULK EAT BLUE LADY!” Hmmm Hulk wanting to eat someone, now where have we seen that before… I wonder….

Then Sabretooth comes out of nowhere and grabs Mystique and both of them fly away in a hand-glider. Then Nick Fury comes to Mags and Jean Grey opens up his mind blah blah blah leading to the point that Mags is no greater than a human being. Magneto then begs forgiveness but Cyclops doesnt care and blows Mags’ head off. Then everyone leaves as the citadel sinks into the ocean. We then see Wolverine’s arm in a fiery underwater thing which then clenches into a fist… hmm I wonder if he’s dead or not…Eight days later we see Cyclops delievering a speech at the White House about how mutants have to register themselves(ugh that again?!?!?). Then Cyclops is assassinated by an unknown sniper(Yay! More senseless killings!). Then we see Dr.Doom talking to Namor who is his prisoner(why? We don’t know). Thing then enters the castle and reveals how Reed knew about Doom pulling Mags’ strings and blah blah blah and then.. guess what…!? He kills Dr.Doom by crushing his head! What a suprise!

Here’s the real kicker: Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are revealed not to be dead, so this whole story was completely and utterly pointless. So now Loeb is flipping off all the fans of the Ultimate Universe as he runs to cash in his paycheck. Not even Finch’s really good pencils saved me the agony of this book. Here’s a little story: I had almost given up on reading comics a few years ago, but something persuaded me to check out Ultimate Spider-Man. I bought a couple issues of it and was immeadiatly hooked to the concept of the Ultimate Universe and I started buying USM, UXM, UFF and The Ultimates. So in short, the Ultimate Universe brought me back into reading comic books. It saddens me to see Jeph Loeb take a big ol’ $#%^&*!% on all the characters I’ve  grown to love in the recent few years. This whole series was a slap in the face for me, and others as well, and I kinda want to punch Loeb in the face for this. A part of me died today as I read this issue and I can only hope Millar’s Ultimate Comics Avengers, Ellis’ Ultimate Comics Armor Wars, and Bendis’ Ultimate Comics Spider-Man can revive that part of me. Thanks for bearing with me for those who made it this far.

Rating: Almost Unrateable

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2 responses

3 08 2009
SK

Your review is spot on. Ultimatum has ruined the ultimate universe

3 08 2009
comicbookdude89

I don’t think its ruined the Ultimate Universe completely, its just left a huge scar on it. A really, really, REALLY huge scar on it and I hope that scar can be healed.

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